white noise

(Arr, there be no spoilers here, matey).
We made a rare trip to an actual movie theatre two weekends ago to join in the box office frenzy of Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World’s End. Maybe instead of frenzy, I should say fiasco, because it’s a shame this mess of a movie will be among the highest grossers of the year (and all time).

A lot of reviews have complained that the plot falls somewhere on the scale between convoluted and incomprehensible. I can appreciate how some of this “plot play” comes from the idea that pirates are morally ambiguous – but still the erratic storyline and characters’ changing allegiances didn’t do much to make the movie any more enjoyable – only longer. It seems to be a movie that begs you to concentrate on the story while not at all taking itself seriously (more on that in a minute). And that’s I think where a lot of viewers have problems following the movie…as soon as they turn off their mind to endure the high seas slapstick, several twists in the story throw them off course.

From the opening scene, I was pleasantly surprised – the somber executions had me thinking we were in for a darker, more mature Pirates movie. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go in expecting a serious, dark pirate flick, but seeing a flash of that made me realize what a cool tact that could have been. But instead it was only a matter of time before Disney shellac and gratuitous CGI sent things whirling into the abyss. In many cases it seemed even the good stuff was just so overcooked it lost its flavor. None the less here’s a little rundown of my impressions:

Acting:

• Depp was very good (most of the time), though some of the shticks and hallucinations seemed to really push the bounds of self-indulgence. Still, I can forgive that, it is his franchise after all.
• Geoffrey Rush was great (most of the time), with his twisted snarl and boisterous laugh he was the only guy that reminded you this was a pirate movie.
• Keira Knightley makes for a fun enough pirate grrrl, but her speeches taken from Braveheart were painful to sit through.
• Orlando Bloom? Forgettable.
• Keith Richards was a fun addition, and had by far the best sea-worn make-up…oh wait, nevermind.
• Chow Yun-Fat was pretty enjoyable as a much needed bad ass, but I still had to wonder whether the addition of the whole Asian pirate collective was really necessary.

Gags:

• Undead, flaming monkey: Awesome.
• Attack of the 50 foot sea goddess: Horrible and useless.
• Crazy Jack’s delusions: Brilliant, in Davy Jones locker, but eventually annoying and dumb (pocket Jack hanging from a braid and “don’t move I’ve lost my brain”).
• Repeated metaphors of man parts: Horrible – save those for the next Ben Stiller movie.

What else:

• Costumes: Awesome – there’s no denying that one.
• Soundtrack: I gotta give some credit here, if there is one thing that helps moves this 168 minutes behemoth along it’s the music.
• Pirate lords and the pirate king: Whatever – useless to the plot.
• Battles: Hand to hand and ship to ship all pretty well done; no doubt that’s why most people will pay the money to see it and why some will say it was a good movie.

In summary, damn you Jerry Bruckheimer, you suckered me again!

While I’m not as voracious as Donna when it comes to plowing through books, I’ve still managed to read a number of Stephen King’s works over the years. And as great as the stories are (I think I’ve been lucky to read only really, really good ones), it’s disappointing how often they become subpar movies. Sometimes they’re horrible throughout, sometimes just too campy, and sometimes they are just spoiled by a lame ending. His movies also have a knack for being ruined by being produced as network TV miniseries.

But that’s not to say there aren’t gems among them. There is the iconic classic “The Shining”. Of course “Carrie” ranks up there even though the acting wasn’t top notch. And who can forget Kathy Bates in “Misery”? More recently there have actually been a few great movies as well, and it turns out a couple have a screenwriter/director in common, Frank Darabont.

Darabont directed both “The Shawshank Redemption” (1994) and “The Green Mile” (1999), likely King’s most successful big-screen conversions. Now, Darabont is finishing up work on “The Mist”, which is a short story/novella from King’s 1985 book “Skeleton Crew”. I think “Skeleton Crew” was the first Stephen King book I ever read and I vividly remember being glued to the pages. but fearful of turning them.

From what I’ve seen the casting hasn’t pulled in any heavyweights like Hanks or Robbins in the other flicks, but I’m still very optimistic. I suspect the quality of the movie will actually hinge a lot more on the drama of being trapped and the mystery of what’s in the mist and not showing what’s in the mist. “The Mist” is scheduled to be released on November 21st, and I can’t wait! I also hope to have finally finished King’s Dark Tower series and have a chance to re-read the story before then.

About a week ago Donna and I finally got around to watching Hostel – a movie from 05 produced by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Eli Roth. I wouldn’t classify either of those guys particularly as horror film makers but I guess they’ve flirted with it (Tarantino’s From Dusk Till Dawn and Roth’s Cabin Fever). None the less this movie seemed to leave its bloody mark on the history of horror movies so I’ve been wanting to see it.

If you haven’t seen Hostel, it’s about a couple of American guys who backpack to Bratislava to find a particular hostel supposedly overrun with gorgeous girls. Then things, of course, go horribly wrong. Stupid horror plot – check! You-have-sex, you-die horror cliché – check! Seems like all the pieces are coming together.

By the way, what’s with Bratislava getting such a bad wrap in movies these days? Forget Kazakhstan, Bratislava is Hollywood’s whipping boy. Between Eurotrip and Hostel they can’t be doing too well in the tourism department.

So back to the movie. As things progress, the flick quickly goes from creepy to just plain sick. No, I mean holy-crap, are-they-f’in-kidding-me sick! And this was the full gore, director’s cut DVD mind you. I wouldn’t ever call the movie scary – but hells yah it’s disturbing. It’s easy to look down on the movie as another Tarantino shock-fest, or another Roth blood-fest, but it’s the evil of the human animal that really makes the movie. And makes it disgusting.

Last night we watched Wes Craven’s first film, The Last House on the Left. This is from 1972, and has the film quality, wardrobe, and soundtrack to prove it. But once you’re past those dated references it’s an interesting (don’t know if you can say entertaining) horror film. It was a small, low budget movie shot with inexpensive equipment. In a “making of” feature, Craven explained that their only previous filming experience was with documentary filmmakers so the film shoots played out much like docu re-enactments. This all ends up working for effect … and it reminds you that all the high end production used these days in moviews actually makes a lot of stuff more safe, because it’s less raw.

Last House is essentially about a couple girls who set out for a concert, but on the way… you guessed it… things go horribly wrong. Rape, torture, murder, yep this movie has it all. And it isn’t afraid to show it. The gore factor is actually pretty low, since the budget and technology for special effects was non-existent then, but it’ll turn your stomach all the same. Even the lamer parts of the movie (the unnatural dialogue, the slapstick comic relief) work to build on the unsettling experience.

After the shock wore off, it was interesting how similar these movies are – despite being 30+ years separated. They both show really horrible acts done to regular people, by regular people. No Freddy; no Michael Myers; just that guy you said hi to this morning. There’s really some brutal scenes in both, and the violence always happens close, face to face. And the story arcs also depict victums pushed to the point of committing horrible acts of vengence. And by the end you cheer (at least a little) when the baddie gets the chainsaw taken to him – yes, in both movies.

We like horror as much as anyone, but whew, I think we’re due for a romantic comedy!

I don’t normally pay much attention to The Oscars (or any award shows for that matter), but this year I thought I’d catch up on the many movies I missed in 06 by watching a number of nominated films before the awards on the 25th. Maybe it has something to do with having a nice home theater this year 🙂 None the less, here’s a brief rundown on what we’ve watched lately:

The Departed

Here’s a movie I didn’t have very high hopes for, but was surprising good. Nothing too outside the Hollywood box with this one, but well done for a crime drama. Jack’s always a joy to watch and DiCaprio was surprising good. I wouldn’t give a statue to Markie Mark for best supporting, his character was way too flat. On the other hand, it’s a prime candidate for Best Director; it’s due time for Scorsese to pull one in.

Little Miss Sunshine

Not a bad pic by any means, but Best Picture? I don’t see it. The flick would be a great comedy if it weren’t so serious, but still watching the ensemble mess of a family was entertaining. It’s kind of a typical road trip movie – actually reminded me of Lampoon’s Vacation, without the Kristy Brinkley subplot. In summary, I’d recommend it, but I’ve see better comedies and better dramas this year.

The Queen

Another surprisingly good pic. All the buzz about Helen Mirren is justified. She really delivered on this one. After her, I think the acting drops off quickly, but it’s her movie so that’s OK. I wonder how this movie was received in England where the viewers are closer to the events and royals. For me and Donna I think it was as educational as it was entertaining. Best actress – yes, Best pic – nope.

Babel

Very much in the style of Crash which won last year, but I really dug the global backdrop to this movie. Intertwined stories with enough meat for interesting discussions. I thought some of the political commentary was a bit heavy handed, but not far off the mark, while other themes were left pretty raw without a lot of message handed to you. The Japanese story line was among the more interesting – there was a little more intrigue and depth of character there I think. Some of the sequences and shots were very memorable (like the night club in Japan). Well deserving of the Best Editing nomination and maybe either Supporting Actress…not my favorite movie this year, but out of the nominees probably my choice for Best Pic.

Pan’s Labyrinth

My top pick for the year. Only it wasn’t nominated for Best Pic! I’m sure not having much of a box office presence has a lot to do with it. And yes, you have to read subtitles for two hours. It should at least pick up a few other awards as a consolation (Best Foreign Language Pic, Cinematography, Makeup, Art Direction…). I loved the play between fact and fantasy and the darkness and danger on both sides. It has the hallmarks of kids’ movies these days, but assembled into a film for adults.

Here are a few more images other people took from last weekend. Tons of fun!

Saturday was the big final day of filming for the zombie flick “Dead Moon Rising”. The film’s being produced by a crew in Louisville and their last day of shooting involved the movie’s biggest scenes during which the city is overrun with zombies and motorcycle bikers band together to fight them off. The director Mark Poole put out the word well in advance to get as many zombie and biker extras as possible. He was not disappointed.

We left Cincy early Saturday morning and arrived on set right on time, 11am. The location was a city block right in the heart of downtown Louisville (between 1st and 2nd streets) and was closed to traffic all day. The base of operations was a huge biker bar. Here the cast, crew and extras could get of the sun, get makeup, have a drink and a seat. After signing in we got in the line for makeup…a line that was already a few dozen people deep. We were wearing old tattered clothes, light in color (to show blood better), and sans logos as requested. After waiting a half hour they annouced that due to lack of time and make-up it would not be possible to give everyone the official zombie treatment. They encouraged everyone to stay so they’d have as many bodies as possible and just not to expect to be in any close shots. After driving for a couple hours this was disaapointing. But at least 100 other people were in the same boat. A lot of people came with their own makeup already done – some of which were elaborate and disgusting, others not so much. Here’s a few of our favs:

Right as the first big zombie shot was being set up, a fellow extra showed up with a large container of fake blood and a bunch of us non-madeup folk slathered up. Now dripping with red ooze, we felt much better about running the streets with the other undead.

The first scene was a large mob shot on the street where two hordes of zombies gather at an intersection then run down the street toward the cameras. Donna lost a shoe and fell on the first take and I nearly had my sunglasses trampled on the third, but it was great fun. Here’s the director and AD consulting us in proper zombie acting technique:

Next it was the bikers turn for filming. Here’s a clip where they first all roll up – must’ve been 100 bikes or more.

Part of the fun of the bikers-only filming was just seeing the zombie extras on break. Very surreal seeing a bar full of people with fatal wounds chatting, smoking, drinking beer, and such.

Later came the big scenes where the bikers and zombies clash in the streets. Take after take was filmed of zombies rushing at bikers, bikers rushing at zombies, and the resulting bloody mosh-pit. It sounds rough, but it only appeared that way. Getting ready for the rush:

Next individual scenes were shot with bikers being surrounded, pulled from their bikes, and eaten. The scariest thing all day was how some zombie extras releshed in their role and ripped apart intestines with their teeth.

By 4:30 it was a wrap. We thanked the director for a memorable day and headed home…still dripping.

What better way to spend it than getting a group together to see the late show of the remake of The Omen.

Overall, not a bad flick. On any other day maybe not so much, but worth $9 (!) tonight. I thought Mia Farrow was the standout – memorable scenes include the air injection in the IV and her flying end-over-end death. Other creepy non-movie moments include Nancy’s hoodie and Finding Nemo.